GENERAL BOOM DREAMS OF A PERFECT WAR

GENERAL BOOM DREAMS (Exerpt from Chapter 15 of JESUS INVADES GEORGE)

In 2008 General Boom had had enough of serving in Iraq. He had never read about a war in which the more enemies you killed the more grew to take their places. As far as his intelligence people could tell for every Iraqi his men killed or threw into one of our prisons, we created three new people who wanted to shoot us or blow us up. One bright guy from Harvard had figured that at the rate we were going, in fifteen years we would have the entire world shooting at us. He even showed graphs to prove it.
One part of  General Boom said to himself “Bring ‘em on!”, but another part felt that having the whole world going after us might not be a good idea.  Especially since they would all certainly cheat. They wouldn’t join an army or wear a uniform or fire missiles at us or drive tanks we could blow up, or have nuclear submarines we could sink, or planes we could shoot down, or headquarters we could bomb into oblivion.

Instead they would all dress up just like the people who didn’t hate us so we wouldn’t know whether they were good guys or bad guys and thus to be on the safe side we’d have to kill them all.
And then a wonderful thought occurred to General Boom. If the entire world was against us then they’d all be bad guys!  And thus we’d no longer have to shoot innocent people! No more collateral damage! Everyone was evil, so everyone could be killed! Everyone was guilty so everyone could be locked up without a trial in Guantonamo or all our other prisons scattered around the world! No more gray areas! What an ideal situation!
General Boom thought he’d better check again with the Harvard guy. A scenario where everyone was the enemy might be just the situation that the U.S. military had been dreaming of for years and had been developed for: to kill huge numbers of people indiscriminately. Why if we could just take on the whole world we could win that war in a flash!! Wow! And in just fifteen years it might be possible! Boom was only forty-six; he could stay in the service until then, probably if he played things right be Chief-of-Staff just when the order had to be given to wipe out the whole rest of the world.
He sure hoped that Harvard guy was right.

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